


canajoharie

by comeseetheduck



Series: join us / giantverse [4]
Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Dysphoria, F/F, Multi, Trans Girl Marco Diaz, Trans Marco, Trans Marco Diaz, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, and now it’s here, and you go for it, princess marco, trans girl marco, what happens when you dream up the crackiest of all crack ships to ever crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-21 04:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13733670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeseetheduck/pseuds/comeseetheduck
Summary: When you're young and in love, you have a lot of feelings, and sometimes those feelings mean that you make poor choices.It's time for everyone to deal with the consequences of their actions.





	1. part i

**September 16, 2016.**

Star really just wanted to leave without anybody noticing that she was gone, but she also knew that the Diaz's would worry about her, so she figured that she should at least say goodbye to them face to face. For everyone else, she could just text them updates, and it would be fine. Hopefully.

Mr. and Mrs. Diaz were downstairs drinking coffee, her bags were already packed, and Marco was still asleep. Optimal conditions.

She tiptoes downs the steps of the house and waves towards the couple, who were quietly drinking coffee while some radio station droned on about local news. "Mr. and Mrs. Diaz? I have to go back to Mewni for a festival. It's official princess business, and what not."

Angie smiles at her. "Of course, Star. Would you like to wake up Marco before you go?"

Star grimaces a little bit. "There's no need to wake him, I'll leave a message for him to read later." She then bounds back up the stairs to her room. Angie and Rafael frown at each other.

* * *

  _part i: which reminded me how we ended up where we are now_

* * *

  **September 21, 2016.**

She had spent the past couple of days trying to figure out where Jackie was eating lunch. At first, she wanted to just sleuth it out, like Sherlock Holmes, but there were just too many spots to consider around the high school. Plus, she didn't have even close to the level of deductive reasoning to figure out where Jackie ate lunch with the hints of a cloudy sky on Instagram and a vague post about hamburgers. (You would think a post like that would narrow it down a little bit, but on that said day the school lunch was hamburgers.) However, even with the setbacks, she still had one ace-in-the-hole that might get her the answers that she was looking for. While she was reluctant in using this resource, it seemed like she was entirely out of options. (There's not too much that you can do when a person goes out of your way to avoid you in the hallways and doesn't answer your text messages.)

"Hey, where does Jackie eat lunch?"

Marco nearly chokes on her soup.

"I don't know, Janna. She hasn't talked to me since the sleepover."

"Come on, Marco. You have to have some idea of where she is."

Marco dips her spoon back into the cold soup she packed for lunch and takes another bite before answering. "I really don't. She said that she needed time, so I'm giving it to her. Once she's ready to talk to me again, I'm sure that she will."

"Are you saying that you're not even a little bit nervous?"

"Janna. I am the most nervous person to exist on the planet."

Janna laughs. "I hear ya, girl." The miniscule smile that pops up on Marco's face as she eats her soup could light a city block. "Okay, so if you don't know where she's eating right now, where were you two eating lunch before?"

Marco, without looking up, responds. "I'm not telling you."

"Oh come on, Marco. Are you worried that I'll blab about your secret make out spot-" At this moment, Marco chokes on her soup, again, and Janna realizes that she might be able to figure out where Jackie is hiding based off of Marco's reaction to her allegations. (Just like Sherlock Holmes.) "-to the other DnD kids or something?"

"N-No! Shut up!"

"Lemme guess, it's one of the skate park benches or some hidden shelf in the library or in an abandoned swimming pool."

"Wr-wrong, shut up, stop talking, go away forever."

And now Janna had a pretty good idea of where she might be able to find Jackie.

* * *

The only thing that Jackie had been able to think about for the past couple of days is how badly she had fucked up.

Normally when she was having relationship problems, she would be able to talk through it with her dad, but this time around, trying to talk with her dad only lead to her crying and being frustrated, so she kind of gave up on it. Her dad was convinced that she had done the right thing by asking for time, but in the day to day it seemed foolish, and each day that she didn't try making up with Marco would be another thing for Marco to add to a growing pile of resentment.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice the sound of footsteps behind her until it was too late.

"Fucking finally. Y'know," Janna pauses to wipe the dirt off of her skirt- "that drain pipe was a lot harder to climb than I thought it was going to be. I must be getting rusty."

"Janna? How did you find me?"

"I Sherlock Holmes'd it. I was talking to Marco and making fun of her-"

"Her?"

"Yeah, Marco's a girl. Wait, shit, you know that, right? Or did I just majorly fuck up?"

"No, I've known... when did she tell you?"

"After the party. Anyways, I was talking to her and she twitched a little bit when I mentioned the library, so it was pretty easy to figure out that you two would sneak up to the roof. The harder bit was figuring out how you got up here without being seen, but then I saw a scuff by the drain pipe and figured that-"

"Why are you here?"

"Why am I here? Why are you here?"

"This is where I eat lunch."

"No, I mean, why are you avoiding Marco instead of figuring stuff out? Why are you avoiding me?"

"Janna, you were there when-"

"When what? When you said you needed time to figure out whether or not you needed to choose between your literal girlfriend and a person you kissed once?"

Jackie pales. "You heard all of that?" she says, barely louder than a whisper.

"Yeah, I did. I figured you would have also heard when Star said that she was going to leave again, and I told her that I loved her, and then literally ran all the way back home, but hey! clearly you're the only one with problems here!"

The bell rings.

Janna, not expecting to be as loud as she was, regains her composure. "I'm inviting Marco over to my place. You should come too. We can all talk and get our shit figured out."

Jackie doesn't respond. Instead, she sits on the roof, head in her hands. Janna looks back at her once before climbing down the drainpipe.

* * *

_Technically_ , the festival had ended already.

 _Technically,_ Star didn't have any service on her cellphone in Mewni. She still got the messages that her friends were sending her, but she ignored them. All she could hope is that Marco didn't chase after her. She can't handle something like that, again.

"Glossaryck? If you were in my situation, what would you do?"

Glossaryck, floating upside down on the ceiling, lowered himself down to Star's eye level, as she sat on her bed kicking her feet on the mattress. "Well, Star, there's no way for me to know what the best thing for you to do. I'm not the Canajoharie."

Star immediately sat up. "What is the Canajoharie, exactly?"

Glossaryck, now lazily spinning in circles, stays silent for a few seconds. He then shrugs his shoulders briefly before speaking. "The Canajoharie is a mythical creature that lives in the outer reaches of Mewni. They have the ability to tell whatever being that manages to gain an audience with it which choice they should make. However, they're a very fickle beast that has mostly unpredictable movements."

"Mostly?”

"Ah, yes. There's one spot that they return to pretty consistently, a small cottage in the Jaggy Mountains. They're scheduled to be back there soon, but if you miss out on catching them there you're going to have to wait for another two years-"

Glossaryck hasn't even finished his sentence before Star summons a Warnicorn to fly her towards the Jaggy Mountains.

* * *

Jackie stood outside of the door of Janna's house for a full five minutes before she rang the doorbell. She could feel sweat trickling down the back of her neck, and even though it was a bit warm for September, it wasn't the heat that had her sweating. From inside, she could hear muffled shouting, and then the sound of the door clicking open. Janna smiles at Jackie, and then motions for her to enter the house. Jackie slowly steps inside.

"So, uh... yeah. I'm here. Why is it so dark?"

"I like the dark. Anyways, Marco is in the bathroom right now-"

"Janna, I refuse to try on one of your bras!"

"-trying on some of my old clothes. To see if there's anything that she likes that I can give her so she doesn't have to shop with her parents."

"I thought her parents are supportive."

"They are, but they're also over the top. Imagine trying to shop with them." Jackie does, and she shudders. "Hey Marco! Jackie is here!" This is followed by silence, and then the unmistakable sound of a person falling over themselves inside of a bathroom.

"I'll be out in a minute!"

Jackie looks over at Janna, who can only shrug. Eventually Marco walks out, wearing her classic hoodie over a skirt that seems to be a bit too short for her comfort. It reminds Jackie of the night that Marco walked out of her closet, wearing that one yellow dress. She can feel her stomach tightening out of fear. She may have destroyed one of the best things in her life.

"Hi Jackie."

"Hi Marco."

The two stare at each other, unsure of what to do next, until Janna claps twice. "Okay, I have brought the two of you here because you both have issues and the best way of solving them is by talking about it, out loud, to each other. I'm here to mediate because I'm a good friend. I started water for tea, so just get comfy in my room."

Jackie nods, and passes Marco on her way to Janna's room. Marco follows behind her, and opts to sit on the floor, while Jackie sits on the bed. The awkwardness in the air is palpable.

"So...." Marco breaks the silence. "Ummmm.... how are you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"That’s good."

More silence, except for the sounds of Janna pouring tea into cups in the kitchen through the open door.

"So, uh, I think-"

"Jackie, I-"

They pause, again. Janna then walks in with three cups of hot tea. "Marco, sit on the bed, next to Jackie." Marco shrugs, and then sits on the bed next to Jackie. Janna gives them tea cups, and even though Jackie doesn't usually drink tea, she likes the feeling of steam rising on her face. "Marco, would you like to go first?" She nods.

"Jackie, you were the first person that I came out to. You were there for me, even when I was in Mewni fighting in a war with Star.

"From the beginning I've been worried that you'll just want to hang out with Star, because she's cooler than me in every way, and is like, an actual royal princess and all that, and you two are pretty good friends now.

"But after I came out, it feels like that part of my head just kicked into overdrive. I mean, honestly, I didn't even know if you see me as a real girl or not. But even if you did, I would be able to deal with it, right? It's you, and as long as you were able to handle me being me, I would take it.

"But Star is a girl, too. Like, a _girl_ girl. And if kissing her once means that you like her now, there's no way for me to compete with that. You are one of my favorite people in the entire world, and if you want to date Star instead of me, you should do that."

Marco sniffles near the end of her statement. "Is that everything you wanted to say, Marco?" Marco nods. "Okay, before you say anything, Jackie, there are a few things I want to tell Marco.

"Marco, no matter what anyone says, or thinks, you are a real girl. There's no right or wrong way to do being a girl." She taps Marco on the hand twice, and Marco smiles at her. "Okay, Jackie, it's your turn."

Jackie takes a deep breath, and exhales. “I’m a bad girlfriend, and you should break up with me.”

* * *

  **DATE UNKNOWN**

The Jaggy Mountains are not a forgiving environment, to say the least, but Star is hardly hindered by the snow and the wind. She found the cottage pretty quickly, and by her best estimates she was going to be on time to meet the Canajoharie before they left to somewhere else. The cottage, at least, has the lights on, and smoke coming out from its chimney.

Star knocks on the door of the cottage, and when she doesn’t get a response, slowly turns the knob. The door swings wide open. “Hello?” There isn’t much in the cottage that she can see, so she opens the door wider and lets herself in.

The cottage is, in fact, almost completely empty. There is a raging fire in a fireplace on the far wall, and a desk where a strange being sits motionless.

“Excuse me?” Star asks. “Are you the Canajoharie?”

The being then opens its eyes. “Oh boy! A guest! I assume you’re here to get some wisdom from the Canajoharie.”

Star nods. “And you are…”

“I am merely an assistant of the Canajoharie. Now, the rules state that if you are to get an audience with the Canajoharie, you have to pass a series of tests. These tests are often dangerous and difficult. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

Star doesn’t hesitate.

“Bring it on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more experimenting and tinkering with the style of writing. yaaaaaaay. 
> 
> well, this got long fast, which is good for people who want to read it and good for me, a person who wants to write long pieces but thinks in a very visual way. i have a vision of what some things look like in my head and they just don't end up in the text because it's not strictly necessary to write a couple hundred words describing janna's living room.
> 
> part 2 is very much not finished. heck, it's not even started. which is why this one gets the long notes on the bottom of it instead of it being saved for the end.
> 
> I started watching Everything Sucks! which is a show on Netflix and it's absolutely fantastic and also heavily influenced the direction that I'm going with this story specifically. I also rewatched Speed Racer (2008) and Power Rangers (2017) and while Power Rangers is a fine movie, Speed Racer is genuinely the single best sports movie of all time, period. The first time I watched it, the end scene had me emotional and I was like "wow why am i getting emotional over a dum movie" but now I end up in tears watching it. It's so good.
> 
> anyways who know when part 2 will be done! i am severely mentally and physically ill


	2. part ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of this might not make sense if you haven't read the rest of this series. sorry, kinda

**DATE UNKNOWN**

The world vanishes around Star, and she finds herself in an empty room. The assistant of the Canajoharie is there, looking through a manila envelope.

“Hmmm… odd.”

“What’s odd?” Star shouts at the being.

“It appears that the inquiry that you have with the Canajoharie has nothing to do with war or fortune.”

“Yeah, and?”

“It’s just… generally the only people who bother seeking out the Canajoharie have something along those lines in their question. It appears that none of the tests that are usually used will apply to you.”

“Does that mean that I pass?”

“No, it just means that a test has to be created for you. Look behind you.”

Star looks behind her to see three doors.

“Behind you are three doors.

“Each door gives you a look into an alternate timeline of your life. You will have five minutes to study each of the scenes. When your time is up, you will be brought back to here.

“After visiting all three of the doors, you will have to pick which of the doors is the correct option. If you answer correctly, then and only then will you be able to visit the Canajoharie.

“Are you ready, Star Butterfly?”

Star looks at the assistant.

“Let’s do this.”

* * *

 Marco nearly drops her tea.

“Jackie, what are you talking about? You’ve been nothing but the best to me!”

“Let her finish,” Janna starts, but Marco ignores her.

“No! Jackie, listen to me.” Marco cups Jackie’s head in her hands. “I don’t care what you think that you did, I don’t care about the kiss or any feelings you have about Star, we can make this work.”

Jackie puts down her tea and slowly lowers Marco’s arms. “Marco… there’s something that I didn’t tell you about. While you were gone. And I’ve been past it for a while now, but it’s not fair to you to hide something like that from you.

“I really do want to believe that that this could work. You’re the coolest person that I know. But I think you won’t ever want to see me again after I tell you what happened.”

Marco sits up, composes herself, and picks up the cup of tea that she had placed on the floor.

“Try me.”

* * *

_ii. i get the creeping feeling all my old friends are gone_

* * *

**DOOR ONE**

Star really just wanted to leave without anybody noticing that she was gone, but she also knew that the Diaz's would worry about her, so she figured that she should at least say goodbye to them face to face. For everyone else, she could just text them updates, and it would be fine. Hopefully.

Mr. and Mrs. Diaz were downstairs drinking coffee, her bags were already packed, and Marco was still asleep. Optimal conditions.

She tiptoes downs the steps of the house and waves towards the couple, who were quietly drinking coffee while some radio station droned on about local news. "Mr. and Mrs. Diaz? I have to go back to Mewni for a festival. It's official princess business, and what not."

“Oh, is that already?” calls out a voice from behind her. It’s Marco, who is apparently awake… and still wearing the dress from last night. “Before you go, can we talk real quick?”

“Ah… okay, Marco, just a second.” Star sheepishly waved to Mr. and Mrs. Diaz before nervously going up the stairs towards Marco. Marco stood at the top of the top of the stairs, silently. “Heyyyyyyy there, Marco. What’s up?”

“Star, I’ve been thinking. You’ve been there with me through the thick and the thin.”

“Yes, Marco, we have-“ Marco steps towards her.

“-and what I’ve realized is that I, Marco Diaz, am fully and overwhelmingly in love with you, Star Butterfly.”

Star gasps.

“Ever since we danced at the Blood Moon Ball, I’ve felt that we’ve had some kind of connection. Like our souls were entwined together. It took me so long to find what I was looking for but you were in front of me the entire time.” And then Marco leaned in, and she also leaned in, and they were kissing, and it was just as magical as she could have ever imagined it. It felt like time had stopped and it was just Star and Marco, kissing while the world around them sang-

Star pulls away from the kiss. “Wait, Marco. What about Jackie?”

Marco pauses, and then shrugs. “I called her last night to say that we should break up.”

“What?” Star lets go of Marco, and steps back. “Why? She’s the girl that you’ve wanted for… forever!”

“Maybe she was the girl of my dreams, but now it’s you.” Marco leans in to kiss her again, but she sidesteps.

“Is she okay?”

“Who cares?”

“‘Who cares?’ _I_ care, Marco. Even though she is- _was_ your girlfriend, she’s still my friend!” With that, she pulls out a pair of dimentional scissors and cuts a hole to Jackie’s house.

“Star, wait-“ Marco pleads, but Star is already gone.

* * *

 Jackie is crying on her bed when Star shows up.

“Oh no…” Star rushes over to a curled up Jackie Lynn Thomas, still in her nightclothes. “Jackie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

Jackie sniffles and looks up at Star. “It’s alright. It’s just… you know, it’s funny. I should have seen it coming. Marco’s been with you since you moved here, and really, all I did is get in the way of the inevitable.”

Star strokes Jackie’s back. “Jackie, that’s not true. You’ve been a good friend to me and Marco. You’re patient, kind, understanding… you’re kind of perfect.”

Jackie looks up at Star, and her entire face shatters, like a glass chalice dropped on a hardwood floor.

* * *

**July 20, 2016.**

Today was supposed to be awesome. The Love Sentence concert was good and all, but she doubted that Marco had been to anything like Wronged Tour, the annual cross-country tour with extreme skateboarding and punk bands. It would have been the first year that Jackie would have been able to go with someone capable of getting nearly as excited about the events as she was. (Her dad, bless his heart, tried his best.)

Plus, now that she was 15, her dad allowed her to go without him being there as an escort, assuming that she texted her location regularly. It would have been the perfect date.

But instead, her partner was in Mewni, fighting against some god-like serpant demon thing. Based off of the last update, Marco was in prison or something? She tried not to think too hard about it, or to get worried. It wasn’t working too well, but she was trying.

She had watched the skateboarders for a while, but after seeing some of the best pretty early on, she had gotten bored. However, there was one music act that she was looking forward to: Bury Me Under the Sun. They were a band from England that she really liked, and she was very excited to see them live. Waiting outside for them to start playing was only a minor inconvenience.

Of course, walking directly into Brittney Wong was a much larger inconvenience.

“Jackie Lynn Thomas. Did not expect to see _you_ here.”

“Same for you _,_ Brittney. Don’t you have some cheerleader fundraiser to do?” Jackie snarked.

“Funny, but I asked for today off. Anyways, I haven’t seen you around as much since you started dating Marco.”

Jackie could feel the heat running towards her face. “Yeah, and?”

Brittney, surprisingly, backed down, and almost took a softer tone to her voice. “I guess I expected you to look frumpy just like he does. You’ve still got a good sense of fashion.”

Jackie looked down at her outfit. “I don’t know, it’s nothing special…”

“Nonsense,” Brittney rebuffed. “The white crop top with the teal shorts that matches your hair? It’s almost brilliant in its simplicity.”

“Uh… thanks,” Jackie replied. “You said that you asked for today off, what band are you going to see?”

“I’m basically only here to see BMUtS, but I think I’m a little bit lost. This map is useless-“

“Oh, you’re a fan of them too?”

“Of _course._ Although, I do have to say, I think their earlier stuff is better than the newer stuff. _Nevada_ is objectively a masterpiece.”

“Come on! Have you even read about the story behind the symbolism in _Septembering_?”

Maybe today would be fun without Marco.

* * *

**DOOR TWO**

About a half minute after the door closes in Star’s room, Janna hears Star begin to start crying.

“Star?”

“Maybe I should leave.”

“Why?”

Star’s almost curled up into a ball at this point. “I came to Earth so that I could be more responsible, and what have I done? I’m just the girl that wrecks things here! Oh, Star blew up something again! Oh, Star’s silly emotions made it so that the two people that she liked are angry at each other! Oh, Star’s so dangerous that Marco’s parents want him to be responsible for me! Oh, look Star did something again and now Marco’s in trouble because they expect him to keep _me_ under control!”

“Star, no, _please_ don’t leave again.”

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t- “

“Star, I’m in love with you!”

Star gasps.

“Ever since you grabbed my hand in detention, I’ve felt that we’ve had some kind of connection. Like our souls were entwined together. It took me so long to find what I was looking for but you were in front of me the entire time.” And then Janna leaned in, and she also leaned in, and they were kissing, and it was just as magical as she could have ever imagined it. It felt like time had stopped and it was just Star and Janna, kissing while the world around them sang-

* * *

Star wakes up in her own bed the next morning. Marco is next to her bed, holding a stack of pancakes. “These are for you, Star.”

Star takes the pancakes and starts devouring them. Marco stands silently for a while, watching, before speaking.

“So, I heard about you and Janna…”

“…and?”

“Star, I’m happy for you, but I just don’t want you to be leading Janna on.”

Star swallows. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, if you’re only dating Janna because me and Jackie aren’t available, is that fair to her?”

Star’s face begins to heat up. “I like Janna, what are you talking about?”

Marco’s face contorts into a smug grin. “Are you sure you really like her, or do you just like the validation that she gives you? Did you only develop feelings because she confessed hers in front of you?”

“Marco, stop it.” Star feels her fists tightening.

“It’s ironic, though. Of all of the people you had feelings for, the one person you didn’t like was the one that liked you back-“

Star goes into full Butterfly mode. The bed and Marco shatter into splinters from the force of the transformation.

* * *

“I forgot to ask you earlier, but how’d you get into BMUtS?”

Jackie and Brittney were sitting underneath the pier, watching the sun set. With the festival making the actual boardwalk quite crowded, Brittney had suggested that the two get away from the noise of the festival by going to a part of the pier that people usually ignored. They had been talking for the past couple of hours, and now that the sun was setting and Jackie could feel the slight sting on her shoulders of not putting on quite enough sunscreen this morning, she realized that she was actually having a good time hanging out with Brittney.

The two had never been combative or anything, but a lot of their interactions were compulsory, because of the way that social circles interacted at Echo Creek. Once she started hanging out with Star and Marco, she had kind of drifted away from the people that she used to spend all of her time with. It’s not like she _missed_ hanging out with Brittney or anything, but unlike Brittney’s birthday party, she wasn’t looking ahead for when it would be over.

“Uhhhh… this is gonna sound a little bit dorky, but usually bands like that don’t show up on my radar? I’m mostly into chill stuff, which is kinda vague, but like that lo-fi hip hop kind of sound. Anyways, I was just looking on the internet and found an 8-bit cover of one of their songs? It’s not usually my thing, but… I don’t know, they just kinda grew on me.”

“I feel that.” Brittney dug through her bag, and then took out a pack of cigarlos and a lighter.

Jackie gasped. “You smoke?”

Brittney laughed. “I mean… sometimes. Not that often. It’s nice to break the rules sometimes, you know?” Jackie nodded. “Like, even between all of the cheerleading stuff that I do, my Dad has stupid high expectations for me, and sometimes… it gets overwhelming. And it’s real easy to take it out on other people, but eventually everyone just starts hating you.” She lit the cigarlo, took a long drag from it, and exhaled like a dragon breathing a stream of fire. “It’s just nice to be on the sand and not worry about the world, you know?”

Jackie nodded, and then put her hand on top of Brittney’s hand. The top layer sand was still warm from the heat of the sun.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t hate you.”

Brittney squeezed Jackie’s hand. The sun dipped below the horizon, as if it was being buried underneath the water.

* * *

**DOOR THREE**

"Well, it's not my fault that you're so pretty!"

"What?"

"Don't pretend that you don't already know, Jackie, prettiest girl in the entire school."

"What are you talking about, Star?" Jackie's face was now also heating up.

"Literally all I've wanted to do since we got stuck in this stupid closet is kiss you but I can't because Marco will be bad and you think that I'm weird and ugly-"

"Star, no, I don't. You're incredibly pretty, I don't know what you're talking about-"

and they were kissing, and it was just as magical as she could have ever imagined it. It felt like time had stopped and it was just Star and Jackie, kissing while the world around them sang.

Star pulled away from the kiss first. She had forgotten how to think. She could feel the heat radiating off of Jackie’s face, and her quick, shallow breaths.

"...was... that bad?"

“Star, I think I’m in love with you.”

Star gasps.

“Ever since we went to that Love Sentence concert, I’ve felt that we’ve had some kind of connection. Like our souls were entwined together. It took me so long to find what I was looking for, but you were in front of me the entire time.”

Jackie’s hands run through Star’s hair and they’re kissing again, and it’s cramped but romantic and incredibly warm and then the door opens and Janna is standing there, staring at them. Star pulls away.

Janna looks at Star, and then runs away, sobbing.

“Janna!” Star looks back at Jackie in the closet, her lipstick absolutely smeared on her face, and runs after Janna.

* * *

 Janna stops running underneath a street light in a dark part of town that Star doesn’t recognize. “Janna!” At this point Janna turns around, and stars running towards Star. Star barely has enough time to react to the fist that Janna throws at her. She dodges and spins around to face Janna. Janna has a look of rage on her face that she’s never seen before. “Janna, what the- “

Another punch from Janna, and this time Star jumps back and ducks to dodge another punch.

“You’ve ruined _everything-“_

Janna keeps throwing everything she has at Star, but Star manages to dodge her punches. Eventually, Janna, tired out, stops to catch her breath. Star pulls out her wand and points it at Janna.

“What? You gonna magic me?” Janna shouts between heavy breaths. “Like you do everything else?” Star clenches the wand, even harder. “Well, magic isn’t going to fix this, you _bitch!_ ”

The wand spits out an icy cold flame, and all of Echo Creek burns.

* * *

Jackie stared at herself in the full-length mirror in Brittney Wong’s room. Hanging out at the beach turned into hanging out at Brittney’s house, and somehow that turned into calling her dad and convincing him to allow her to sleep over at Brittney’s house. (That was somehow super easy to do. It turns out that her dad knew Brittney’s dad, for some reason?) That had turned into a lengthy series of dares, where Jackie had drunk way more whiskey than she was planning to. (It turns out that taking double shots of whiskey after losing a round of Kart Racers made future rounds of Kart Racers way harder.) _That_ had turned into Brittney and Jackie stripping to their underwear and singing songs on the radio inside of the Wong’s hot tub, which turned into underwater wrestling until Jackie accidentally elbowed Brittney in the eye, which is when Brittney _accidentally_ dumped all of Jackie’s clothes into the hot tub. (Jackie knew she kind of deserved it.)

And now Jackie was wearing a set of Brittney’s old pajamas, and Brittney was setting up popcorn and a movie inside of her home theater. (Jackie had dared her to watch Scream Fest 3 once she found out that Brittney had never ( _never!_ ) seen a horror flick in her life.) Everything about Brittney’s clothes felt just a little bit too tight, but they were soft enough that it didn’t bother her too much. Plus, she was still pretty tipsy, so it might have just been her imagination. In any case, she unbuttoned a couple of the buttons on the shirt. Much better.

“Jackie! The movie is about to start!”

“I’m coming!” Jackie looked back, wiped the hair away from her face, and walked into the theater room.

On the ground of the theater room were bean bag chairs and blankets, and Jackie fell over into the bean bag directly next to Brittney. The opening title came on screen and Brittney shuttered in her bag.

“I am going to get you back so hard for this.”

“Yeah, whatever, just watch the movie!”

Ten minutes went by in the movie with the two of them sitting in silence. After a scene where the lead female actress took off her shirt to start changing in her room, Brittney spoke.

“Jackie, are you gay?”

Jackie giggled. “What are you talking about, Brittney? I’m dating Marco.”

Brittney paused the movie. “Yeah, and when you were being a weepy drunk, you were complaining about the super cute mime girl that’s in prison with him!”

Jackie felt her face heat up. “Come on Brittney…”

Brittney laughed. “Okay, if you say so…” She unpaused the movie and the pair continued to watch in silence. Another twenty minutes passed without either of them saying a word.

“Hey Jackie.”

“Yeah?”

“I dare you to make out with me.”

“…what?”

Brittney paused the movie again. “You heard me. I dare you to make out with me.”

“Brittney. I’m dating Marco.”

Brittney laughed again. “It’s a dare, unless you’re chicken.”

Jackie frowned. “I am not chicken.”

Brittney rolled over until she was on top of Jackie, their faces only a couple of inches apart from each other.

“Prove it.”

“Okay.”

* * *

**July 21, 2016.**

She woke up cuddling Brittney. She fell back asleep.

The next time she woke up, Brittney was gone.

Her head was pounding from the hangover. Her neck was throbbing from Brittney’s hickies.

Her clothes were on the nightstand next to a glass of water and a note. The note was short and to the point.

> **_Tell No One._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my lord. this is way longer than i expected it to be, and also i wrote it way faster than i expected it to. typing this it's... 1:21 AM and i have math homework due. (it's for my limits and infinite series class. i'm gonna post this whenever i wake up.)
> 
> the thing that was most surprising about writing this chapter is the amount of research i had to do just to make sure that everything made sense. i had completely forgotten that jackie is mostly into chill music until i looked it up. also, this show can fight me because it refuses to give people birthdays, or ages that make any sense at all. you can't be fourteen forever! the show's spanned for almost an entire year and only brittney's had a birthday! something don't add up!
> 
> Bury Me Under the Sun is a mash up of Bring Me the Horizon and Between the Buried and Me. Septembering = Sempiternal, Nevada = Alaska. true story: i got into BtBaM in high school because of a piano cover of the song All Bodies. (not this cover, but this is a better cover of the song anyways https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng3pA9Jly08) 
> 
> jackie and brittney are two massively underdeveloped characters which means that writing this fic meant that i got to play with what might be their motivations for the way that they act. apparently people read this so i'm a little bit nervous about how people receive this chapter particularly, it's.... a lot.
> 
> the confessions in each of the doors are heavily based off the love confession from quarterman at the end of teen girl squad episode 14 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJB-Ji_YdMA
> 
> chapter 3 - the final chapter of this part, i promise - will come out whenever it's finished.


	3. part iii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions get resolved.

  **September 23, 2019.**

Jackie Lynn Thomas sits in the office of her therapist, fingers twisting a twine bracelet. She had been going for a while, but it didn't make it any less nerve wracking. Not that she disliked her therapist; so far, it had been a good experience. She was still nervous anyways. If she wasn't, maybe she wouldn't need therapy.

"How are you?" her therapist asks.

Jackie brushes her hair back. "Uh, I've been mostly okay, but over the weekend I saw something and it's made me feel... something."

"What did you see?"

"It was just an anniversary post from Janna, but for some reason it made me feel like trash. Probably just because it reminded me of stuff I did that I regret."

"Do you want to talk about that?"

Jackie pauses.

"...yeah, we probably should."

* * *

  _iii. call me sentimental but i want to go back_

* * *

  **September 21, 2016.**

The room is silent after Jackie finishes telling her story. The silence is broken by the doorbell. Janna hesitates before speaking.

"You two, stay in here. I'll get the door." Janna hops out of her seat, mumbling something about her mom being home early underneath her breath. Jackie desperately tries to read her girlfriend's face. She knows that Marco sometimes has trouble with eye contact, but it would help her feel better, at least a little bit, if she would just look at her-

"Star?" Janna is shouting, presumably so that they could hear it. The two exchange a couple of words, and then Janna closes the door again and rushes back to her bedroom.

"Star is here and she wants to talk and so I need you to hide."

"Where?" Jackie asks.

Marco and Janna look at each other. "Basement," they say, nearly simultaneously. "Please, hurry," Janna asks, and the pair sprint to the basement. "I'll get you when me and Star are done," Janna whispers, and then closes the door behind them.

* * *

Star takes in Janna's room. It's not quite what she expected.

"This isn't quite what I expected."

"What did you expect?" Star shrugs. "Well, that's me... a woman of many mysteries." Janna laughs, weakly, at her bad joke, before looking away from Star in an attempt to hide her blush.

"Why do you have three cups of tea on the ground?" Janna pauses.

"You know me... I just love tea..." More nervous laughter. Janna picks up the cups and pushes them underneath her bed before sitting down on her bed. "So... what did you want to talk to me about?"

Star sits down on the bed. "So, uh, about the party-" Janna begins to raise her hands to form a response, but Star grabs them. "Let me talk, please." Janna nods.

"When you said that you loved me at the party, I didn't know what to say back. And even after that, I still didn't know. It was like I was one of those big circly Earth storms where everything is all jumbled up. So, on Mewni, I found out that there a guy that could tell me what would be the right thing to do.

"The thing, the Canajoharie, showed me three doors that apparently were my future, and I looked through all three of them. And they all sucked. The doors took me back to moments with you, and Marco, and Jackie, and somehow somebody ended up getting hurt. And then the guy told me to pick one-"

"Which one did you pick?"

"None of them. I told the guy to fuck off and then came back here."

Janna nearly bursts into laughter. "Star, I told you, you're not supposed to say that to people!"

Star grins. "You're the one that I learned it from."

"And that's why it's doubly important that you never get caught saying it."

Star bumps her shoulder into Janna's shoulder. "That guy sucked and he deserved it." Janna continues to laugh, and then pauses.

"What happened in the door that I was in?"

"Actually... that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

* * *

Five minutes after entering the basement, Jackie realized that the door was locked.

Six minutes after entering the basement, Jackie realized that she would have to wait for Janna to let them out, instead of yelling and banging on the door.

There are worse places to be than stuck in a basement with your girlfriend, although that rings hollow when you're pretty sure that your girlfriend is about to break up with you. Or, she would, once she said anything. But instead of saying things, Marco was just sitting on the floor, her knees up to her chest, completely silent.

Jackie continues to pace in the basement until the silence becomes unbearable. "Marco, please, can you just tell me something?"

Marco mumbles.

Jackie stops. She kneels down next to her. "What was that?"

"This is all my fault."

"Marco, no-"

"Yes, it is! If I had been there, if I had won the war faster, if I hadn't freaked out about Star at the party-"

"Marco, no! I'm the one that fucked up here! Why can't you see that?" Jackie can feel her scream resonating in the basement. "God, when are you gonna figure out that I'm the most fucked up person that you know?"

She looks at Marco, and then sits in the opposite corner of the basement.

* * *

"...and that's what happened."

Janna desperately hoped that Star didn't notice how hard she was blushing.  "...so, what did you think?"

Star scoots closer to Janna. "Janna, you're my best friend, and even though I don't believe the Canajoharie guy at all, what if he's right?"

Janna shrugs. "I mean, we would have to find out, if we got there." She watches Star nod in agreement. "Do you... want to... try?"

Star nods, looks at Janna, and then swallows.

Janna leans in and kisses Star on the mouth.  It's soft, quiet, everything that the kisses in the void of the Canajoharie weren't.

It's real.

* * *

The Canajoharie sat at their desk, watching the sands of time move.

Their interactions with Star Butterfly had been... interesting. They could see the little spot where Star was located, and watched that area shift in shape. It appears that she made a decision.

Good for her.

* * *

"I'm sorry."

"Marco. Why are you apologizing to me?"

Marco's head is resting on her knees, still curled up in the corner. The sun had started setting and they hadn't turned on the light when they went into the basement. Everything was awash in purples and deep blues.

"Jackie, you were right. I've had this idea of you in my head as a perfect person who couldn't do anything wrong, and that's not fair to you. I have this bad habit of trying to make sure that everything goes perfectly, and I guess that kinda extended to how I think about you?"

Jackie gets up from where she is sitting and walks towards Marco. "I'm the one that should be apologizing to you. I guess I haven't been clear when talking about how I feel. It's not like you can read my mind or anything."

Marco looks at her. "Yeah, we tried that."

Jackie laughs. The sun dips below the horizon, leaving the basement swimming in a purple darkness. Marco laces her fingers in between Jackie's fingers.

"I still think you're a great girlfriend, Jackie."

"I'm sorry about all the stuff with Brittney. And Star. I probably should have started with that."

"It's okay. Nobody's perfect, and you're great."

Her eyes adjust so that she can see Marco looking at her in the basement darkness in the same way that she had seen so many times. It seemed miraculous that someone would be willing to put up with all of her issues. It was even more incredible that somebody could be foolish enough to believe that all of those issues didn't exist.

"Marco, I'm really not that great."

"Well, you are to me. You're one of my best friends. There isn't much I wouldn't do for you."

"Even fight in an inter-dimentional war?"

"I thought you were going to say something _actually hard_."

Even though they're both laughing, alone together in the now dark basement, part of Jackie still doesn't believe Marco. For most of her life, she had been quick to forgive people over lost necklaces and broken skateboards but having that level of forgiveness offered back to her over something way worse seemed so foreign. And even as laughing turned to kissing turned to Jackie lifting Marco's shirt over her head—

_("Are you wearing one of Janna's old bras?"_

_"...is that bad?"_

_"It's cute.")_

\--she still felt like she still owed Marco more. She felt like Marco would figure her out at some point, and then decide to leave. Not that she wanted her to leave, it just... why delay the inevitable?

* * *

They had the foresight to put back on the shirts that they had discarded when the lights from a vehicle pulling into a parking lot flashed into the still-locked basement. Two minutes later, Janna opens the door to the basement, bathing the two in light.

"Two things: one, sorry for forgetting about you two down here. Two, my mom ordered pizza if you want any."

Marco and Jackie look at each other.

"I'm down for pizza if Marco is."

"I'm down, I'll just need to text my parents." Jackie squeezes Marco's hand.

* * *

Jackie: did you know the basement locks from the outside?

Janna: fuck

Janna: my bad

Janna: anywaysy did uou make up with marco?

Jackie: yeah

Janna: *make out

Janna: if you two banged in my basement im gonan be so pissed

Jackie: janna i'm gonna kill you

* * *

"I mean, I don't know why I get so worked up while thinking about that. Maybe it's just the anxiety talking again, but, I don't know, when I saw Janna post that... every part of my brain that tells me how bad of a person I am comes back as loud as ever, and I haven't- hadn't smoked for a while before then but I just couldn't take it. When everything in your life reminds you of how much of a failure you are, it's.... I don't know.

Like, I kind of miss being a dumb kid and worrying about girls and shit instead of worrying about making rent and my job and getting groceries. All this stuff that I thought was the end of the world back then doesn’t even matter now. But I still think that if I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I would do so much different."

The therapist looks at the clock. "We're almost out of time, so can we stop here and talk about it more next time?"

Jackie runs her tongue over her lip piercing.

"Yeah, let's do that."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is technically a series but they were also supposed to be a bunch of one shots. and now they all have just kinda. uh. blended into being one cohesive thing. and instead of having things be resolved and fine i keep on introducing new questions. (if you have any, i'll answer the ones that aren't mega-spoilery.) 
> 
> i finished Everything Sucks! and dear lord that ending hurts my heart it's so good. I also rewatched the anime movie Your Name, which is super good. right now i'm listening to The Bad Plus, their song Silence is the Question with Joshua Redman is my favorite song of all time. period. right now i'm listening to the live version of Heart of Glass, which also owns. almost bought that album in Portland but didn't because i am a dummy. saw They Might Be Giants live, which was a very good show. they're doing a live stream of a concert here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez3t5XRmlq0) but who knows if that's gonna stay up. the show nearest to you probably already happened or is already sold out. uhhhhhhhhhhh i bought Giant Steps by John Coltrane and i kinda want to take a nap. 
> 
> the next bit is... i don't know what the next bit is. time to spend a couple of hours figuring that out i guess. jackie is the most fun to write because you have to figure out her motivations. i think her motivations are pretty clear but then again maybe i'm a bad writer and they're actually not but hey that's what questions are for
> 
> remember to like, comment, subscribe, and click the bell for when the next video comes out


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